This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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