I'm so fucking centered right now
I didn't shave. On purpose
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
