we're blogging at a bar
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
