You made me cry and you don't even care
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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