Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
