Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
