Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just threw up on my dentist
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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