no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
