ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
