You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
ttyl tear gas
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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