Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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