yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fuck appropriateness.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
