Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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