Im at strip club and am horny
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
