I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
