the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
