new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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