If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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