so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
