I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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