his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
