About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
