Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The Olympian is in my bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
