All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
