I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
