We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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