why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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