I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
