I hate all girls vehemently.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
