I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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