Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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