STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
