yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
