Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
