you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
