I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
