i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Text me some of your sweat
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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