that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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