I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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