In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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