Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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