From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
