Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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