I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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