you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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