i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
