let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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