I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
