I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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