Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
