Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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